On Sadness

I’m going to digress from my usual pontificating on politics, technology and working life.  I want to talk about something that is a lot more personal than all that.  Sadness.  I’m feeling a little melancholy today, and have been thinking about the subject.

Sadness is something that every human being has and that they must deal with daily in some way or another.  There is so much in this world to be sad about.  Everyday I read/ listen to/ watch news that should fill me with sorrow.  But like most of us, I manage to separate myself from the stories on genocide, random shootings in our cities and soldiers dying in wars that were never necissary.  These are things that we all just “turn off”, because it would be just too overwhelming to grieve for every life lost or ruined.

But there are other types of sadness that are a little less aggressive.  Like when you are listening to a piece of music that touches you to your very soul.  I couldn’t possibly count the number of times that I have found tears coming while listening to a aria or symphony.  This type of sadness is not a bad thing, but is tied to something beautiful.

There is also the sadness you feel when you when you see a child smile that totally innocent smile that just melts your heart.  Or when your dog knows that you are having a bad day and sits on your feet.  You may say that this is the part of love that hurts, and I would agree.  But there is a link between love and sadness that makes the whole thing go round.

In Chogyam Trungpa’s “The Sacred Path of the Warrior”, he describes a sadness that we find when we have lost our fear and have come out of that caccun that protects us.  This sadness is empathetic and all embracing.  It is something that you feel for all of humanity and it makes you want to give the whole world a hug.  I am by no means saying that I have lost my fear, but I know this sadness.

So sadness is not always a bad thing.  Sometimes it will nurture us, sometimes it will incapacitate us, and sometimes it will connect us to those around us in a more profound way than we could ever put into words.

But on those days when sadness is front and centre and there is nothing that will help to alleviate the symptoms, all of this is little consolation.  All you can do is think about the suffering of the world and gives thanks for the compassion that you feel for the others that suffer with you.

Disappointment

I found out today that I didn’t get an interview for the job mentioned below.  A co-worker who was also competeing for the job came into my office today with a huge grin on her face, “Did you get the email?”.  Sadly no.

I’m excited for her.  I wish her the best of luck.  She deserves the chance. 

But I think I know how Paul Martin felt on the 24 of January.  (Well kind of, I didn’t even make the nomination!)

I may not be the best person for job, I just wish that I had had the chance to do the face to face.  My verbal skills are way more impressive than my resume, and I had some really good material planned.  (Whatever, those notes will be useful sometime or another.)

Oh well.  I have lots of projects on the go, and this means that I can fully commit to those things. 

Onward and upward.

NDP Wankers

I would like to get this out of the way right away, I would vote for the NDP if I could. 

 
Good ole Jack has accused Canadians of strategic voting, ignoring his party in order to deal with the immediate threat of Conservative Government.  If Stephen Harper and his crew are elected into a minority, or God forbid a majority government, we are in for years of social conservative policy that simply has not been discussed in this campaign.  Martin has tried to call out Harper and get him to show how blue his blood really is, but Harper has insulated himself so well with the negative ad stance that came out just after the holidays.  (It drives me crazy how quickly people forget the Reform/ Alliance party policy platforms…)

 
The NDP have been strongly targeting seniors, which is a strategic mistake to begin with.  Most of these folks are old school Liberals or Conservatives who are voting for their party.  It’s like moving heaven and earth to shift these votes.

 
If they targeted the youth, who are much more fickle with their votes, then they could gain some headway.  This is a much better demographic for them as well as the baby-boom echo is now voting age. They are smart though, and know that tax dollars equate to services, and know that if there are not enough tax dollars, there will not be as many services.  Give them a plan Jack.

 
Here is my advice to the Jack and his “strategists”:

 

• Give us a financial plan.  Outline the new initiatives and back them up with quotes from economists, think tanks and experts.  People love to accuse the NDP of giving away the farm, go ahead and prove them wrong with a comprehensive budget plan.
• Get Cool.  The NDP have the advantage of having artists, musicians, and many other creative types that have a strong liberal message for the youth.  An appearance with K-Os or the Beastie Boys would go a lot further than more “Liberal Corruption” rhetoric.  (Leave that to Mr. Harper.)
• Speak about politics like grownups.  Canada is a part of the G7 and a superpower on the world stage.  The NDP in front of me doesn’t play like that. The emphasis is so focused on domestic issues, that I have a hard time thinking of Jack as leader on that international stage.  Think West Wing, not BC municipal politics.
  
• Present a viable slate of people.  The NDP need to build an image of a capable group of folks that can take the reigns of government.  The folks on the slate are not ready to take on ministerial roles.  (Sven Robinson would be crucified in Ottawa in less than a week.)  The Canadian public need to be reassured that an NDP government staff could actually work with bureaucrats once elected. 
  

 
Maybe by the next election Mr. Layton and his party will be ready.  Layton has come such a long way in the past 5-6 years, with his public image and political strategy.  (He actually managed to get something done in the last parliament.) So I hope that in the next four years he will put together a real alternative. 

 
In the mean time, I’m exercising my strategic vote.  A Liberal government is a hell of a lot better than a Conservative government that hides it’s true colours during an election campaign and assertively promotes social conservative policy once it’s over. 

On dealing with professionals

Throughout my time at MTO I have had the opportunity to work with maintenance people, policy people, administrative staff etc, etc.  In all of these interactions I find that “reading” the person often has a lot to do with what they do.

 
For instance an engineer likes to deal with details.  Going into a meeting with an engineer, I know that I need to have all the history and notes on the subject at hand.  (This is the case with every meeting, but with an engineer you need to have all the numbers neatly organized in the context of your objective so that you can present the situation and have the supporting information readily available.)  With engineers, I like to take the lead on a meeting, so that I can present and support my arguments in the context of the immediate problem.  Issues are often short term, and this allows the engineer to present their knowledge about the history before the issue arose.

 
On the other hand, dealing with a policy person takes a different tone.  Again, you have to have all of the details neatly arranged so that you have support to your arguments, but you need to be able to think laterally with relative speed.  Discussions with policy folks tend to have a more philosophical tone, and thus you need to be able to run scenarios and quickly realign your preparation to the new idea.  (And also be able to quickly identify information you don’t have that might be important to the new scenario, as well as where you can get it.)

 
Dealing with Maintenance staff is a little rougher around the edges.  Having information at your fingertips is a little less important, but having an understanding of how things work is vital.  Knowing the patrols and the people who work in them is very important.  A maintenance person will say, “Well Greg at vanKleekhill patrol said the trucks were out anti-icing at 1900 and the ploughs got going around 2000.”  Understanding and dealing with these folks is very practical and deals with the hands on aspect of our business, and adjusting the tone of the conversation is vital to getting any real information.

 
Generally, when dealing with professional folks it is important to listen.  Often there is a history that goes much deeper than a quick bit of research can uncover.  Issues tend to span years and be handled by many different employees.  Often people have stories to tell about things, and I have found lots of information buried in those stories.  Things come out of these conversations, like contacts that have moved on to new positions, deals that were made but not in writing, political situations that had an influence on a situation but that never made it into the file.  These things are invaluable, and you will only get at this information if you sit down and really listen carefully.

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough…

Almost everyone knows that Saturday Night Live skit where the self-help guy does the positive self-talk thing.  As I prepare for a (possible) interview for a position at work, I find my self repeating this little mantra, and cringing at myself every time I do it.

 
The thing about being “a man without letters” is that to succeed you have to have the self-confidence to let people know what you think and what you are about.  This is the hardest part of being a MWOL; you have to have just enough bravado to be heard and not so much that people think you are a blow hard with no credentials.

 
I’ll be posting a few sound bites from my interview prep here on the blog, mostly to get feed back from my very, very few readers, but also because the things that I’ve been writing may have relevance to someone out there.  I believe them.  I try really hard to live them.  That bravado simply could not happen if I didn’t actually believe what I am saying.

 
So while I brainstorm on ways to communicate my suitability for this job, I would like to make the most of the opportunity for self-reflection.  As I look at the projects and things that I have done over the years, I am trying to generate some real positive self-talk. 

 
Here are some examples of positive self-talk that I can recite with confidence:

 
I have the political acuity to properly deal with any situation that may come up.

 
I am agile enough to deal with any hard/dumb ass comments or opinions that come my way from Ministers to pEng’s.

 
I can proactively identify issues and problems and head them off before they become serious.

 
I can learn and adapt faster and more quickly than the average bear.

 
OK, forget that last one; you get my meaning.

On motivation in the public service

I grew up in a very multicultural family. My mother was a lapsed catholic and my step father and his family were reform Jews. I have muslim friends who I have had great conversations over the years. I have always called my self a “Buddhist with an open mind”, and have attended church, synagogue and Buddhist temple.

In all of these faiths, compassion and service are fundamental truths and I see this as a main motivator in being a public servant. Serving the people is an honor that I take seriously and with great conviction. I admit that I came to the ministry as a way of paying the bills, but now that I am here it feels right, it fits with my world view.

For me, working in government organizations is a mix of business tactics, strategic politicking and altruistic intent. If people use this mix as a guide line I think we would all be better servants of the public.

Some would say: “Nathan you are naive. Political life is a battle of wills and often it is reduced to simple power mongering and the advancement of individual agendas”.

To that I say: “Sure. Politicking is a tool to work within the established system. This is a necessary element of the Parliamentary Democracy. That dialogue is necessary to get the work approved and implemented. Individual agendas are bound to come out, but we must remember that the other person is serving as well. They are looking at there aspect of the work and defending the good that she and her people do for the public.”

So when I am doing my job, whether that be providing a vehicle for every public servant who needs one, working on an issue that has come up with a municipality or trying to get a major project approved at the provincial level, I can do so with confidence, knowing that my motivation is to help the people of Ontario.